Blame
by FloofyFox
Summary: At night a restless little pidgeon seeks company. However, it soon breaks into a heartfelt conversation, leading to a small bonding moment. Set at the end of season 7. Plance. One-shot. COMPLETE


**Set in the hospital at the end of season 7**

* * *

Pidge huffed, rolling on to her side, limbs tangling in the thin sheets of her hospital bed. Her eyes cracked open, feeling fuzzy and heavy, despite her lacking the need of sleep. She grumbled lightly, turning to look at the flashing light beside her, which slowly focussed into neon numbers, forming the time.

2:52 am.

To be completely honest, it didn't surprise nor shock her. Pidge was programmed and used to being awake at such early hours, considering her hobby of coding in the middle of the night. She breathed in, and then out once more, trying to lull herself into a soft sleep. After a couple of seconds of what felt like complete comfort, she suddenly felt awkward. It wasn't that she moved positions, or the fact it wasn't her bed. Pidge was used to sleeping in multiple places, it became a daily thing in war.

However, all sleep and need of it evaporated. She groaned, lifting her head up to see her parents slumped in the visitor chairs. Despite her being fully conscious for several days already, they still slept with her there in the hospital room. Matt had left two days ago to assist in setting up camp for the survivors of Earth's siege, importing and providing food and clean water for everyone.

He was doing well.

Pidge sighed, shifting up so she was propped on her arms, sitting up to look out into the hallway, lit by a few lights, mostly the hospital's equipment. Pidge debated whether she should try and go back to bed, or to get up and go for a walk. The latter option won over, leaving Pidge slipping into some slippers and sliding off the bed, avoiding making any noise.

Her parents needed sleep. She knew how much they had been stressing, and Pidge knew how much grief she must have caused her mum over all these years. The paladin winced at that thought. Years. The word echoed in her mind, taunting her at how much time had passed, how much things have changed.

She spared one last glance, feeling a prick of guilt at leaving them once more. I'll make it quick, Pidge resolved in her mind, turning to sneak out the room, slipping around the door before she backed out of it.

Pidge knew she needed a walk. Sure they had all been moving non-stop, constantly risking their life, which realistically meant that the rest should have been welcomed. But, for the first time in most of her life, Pidge was restless. Sure she never slept, but she was known to sit in the same spot for countless hours, never moving, even to eat or drink.

But then again, her longing and craving of Earth had been so strong for all these years, Pidge couldn't bear to stay put when she could take it all in again.

There it was again. Years. Such a foreboding word, and the fact that it hadn't felt like that to them, quite literally only being a few weeks, it didn't defeat the fact that it was the amount of time they'd been gone. How old would she technically be then? Twenty? Twenty-five? That was absolutely absurd. And yet, with all they'd been through, Pidge didn't find it completely stupid. She sniffed, rolling her shoulder and playing with her fingers as she walked, a habit when she was thinking.

She sighed, looking up from the floor to see where she was.

"This is near Hunk and Lance's room," the green paladin murmured to herself, blinking in surprise. Pidge felt she hadn't thought of her teammates for so long, despite the fight only being shy of one week ago. I really should thank them all, check up and see how they are, she told herself, feeling mildly awkward at the prospect of starting a conversation in the middle of the night.

Pidge bit the edge of her lip, hesitantly walking forward to Hunk's room. She debated on whether she should be doing this, so late at night, and what she would do if he was sleeping, which was most probable. The paladin quickly peeked her head around the doorway, eyes adjusting to the dim light, squinting to hurry the process.

It was empty.

Pidge blinked again, her eyes roaming around for her friend. After some seconds of confusion, she heard a muffled whisper, coming from the edge of the room.

It was Hunk.

And Shay.

Pidge strained to hear what they were talking about. Probably catching up on what had been going on for the past couple of months. They're hushed whispers were sweet, in a way, their silhouetted shadows laughing softly and conversing. Two peas in a pod, her dad would have said.

She crept back outside, happy for Hunk, and yet feeling a little lonely. He needed this time, the guy had been through a lot, and had done a lot to keep the team together. Pidge puffed out a small breath of air, turning to walk away, not sure what to do since Hunk was occupied. She couldn't chase away the small hiss of envy, quiet yet noticeable. The green paladin was not one for constantly bonding or craving human companion, but when she did get it, it was strong.

Pidge shuffled her feet forward, walking away from the hushed conversation, and heading back to her room, when a thought latched on to her brain, and wouldn't let go.

Suppose Lance wasn't busy?

She scoffed, attempting to toss the thought away. But it was stuck, and kept growing until Pidge finally gave in to curiosity. It wouldn't hurt to check it out. She hoped. With a defeated sigh, the small paladin turned and approached his room, her movements slowing as she reached it, doubts jarring her muscles until she came to a halt.

Allura was probably with him. Like Hunk and Shay, they would be catching up and talking, getting comfortable together and enjoying each other's company. Pidge didn't want to intrude. She scoffed at the thought. Makes me sound like a pushover, she humoured, however it set a spark of defiance in her. I'm not a pushover. I'll just leave if they want me to, she thought firmly, walking into the doorway before she let herself back out. Pidge Gunderson never backed down from a challenge. Even if it was from herself.

As soon as she stepped through the door, her expectations crashed down, shattering with her envy.

The room was empty.

Of other people.

Lance was standing by the windowsill, thoughtfully examining the world outside as if he were studying a painting. His reflection shimmered in the glass, his expression distant yet soft. The only word for it was peaceful, really.

Pidge only caught herself staring at his reflection when they're eyes met, and he turned around to look at her in surprise. Her hand hovered over the wall, its original action forgotten as she started out of her shock. Perhaps she had overcalculated, considering Allura wasn't anywhere to be found. No one was.

"Pidge?" Lance asked after a few heartbeats, blinking her out of her stupor once again.

"Sorry, I was going to knock! I just, er, forgot?" Pidge replied, mentally cursing herself for her hesitation.

Lance chuckled, a little disbelievingly, at the concept of forgetting to knock. "Do you need something? It's obviously not an emergency, considering you forgot to knock,"

"Okay I get it, I did something dumb. You shouldn't be so intrigued by something that makes up your very being," Pidge huffed, walking forward, a light scowl on her face.

"Okay, easy, it's just a joke!" Lance replied, holding his hands, not putting it past Pidge that she wouldn't pummel him for pointing out her mistake. She only rolled her eyes, joining him beside the window to look out, surveying the night time scenery. The blue paladin watched her curiously, letting his guard down as Pidge made no move of attacking him. She was a feisty thing sometimes, her fiery unrivalled by nearly anyone he knew, if you counted Keith.

"So what brings you here? Not exactly urgent or anything," Lance asked after a couple more moments, his blue eyes sliding to eye Pidge quizzically.

"Just wanted to see how you were," she replied matter-of-factly, continuing to look outside for fear she would make things awkward.

"Right..."

"What? Can't I check up on my teammates?"

"Of course you can! You just, haven't done it that well,"

"Oh?" Pidge asked indignantly, turning to look up at him, urging him to continue.

"Well you haven't even asked how I was! If you're gonna check up on me, at least ask that," he replied evenly.

"I did though. I told you 'I just wanted to see how you were'," she stated simply. Lance mumbled something, surrendering to their pointless banter. He knew he could never win a fight with the green paladin, her wit was too much sometimes.

Okay most times.

Pidge sighed, feeling slightly upset at their conversation ending so quickly. She couldn't help but feel guilty on how quickly she shut people down. It left little to no time to actually talk, and honestly, she did it too often.

"Sorry,"

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry,"

"For what? You literally did nothing," Lance replied in confusion looking back down at her to meet her apologetic gaze.

"For... acting so salty all the time," Pidge mumbled, looking down to the ground, sighing once more. She was doing a lot of sighing these past couple of days. The boy in front of her blinked, until his gaze softened in understanding.

"Oh. Pidge, you don't have to be sorry," he told her, smiling comfortingly. She peeked up at him through her bangs, blinking doubtfully.

"I've done it too often. To you, Keith, Hunk, Allura. Everyone! And honestly- I just want to apologise, and let you know I don't usually mean it, it's just-"

"Pidge, you don't have to apologise for that. It's part of who you are, you can't change that!" Lance cut her off, trying to stop her apology with a hand on her shoulder. Pidge huffed, the statement rubbing her the wrong way. Her shoulder flinched slightly, the sudden physical contact catching her off guard.

"It still doesn't excuse me hurting your feelings," she grumbled. Does it really come off as me being just Pidge, the paladin wondered, dropping her shoulder and turning away, her arms slipping into a barricade in front of her chest.

"What's gotten into you? Since when did you care about my feelings?" Lance asked, wincing inwardly at how Pidge's hurt flashed into her gaze for a split second.

"Of course I care. I just- I don't know! These past months, it's getting harder and harder to remain collected, and I feel like I'm throwing insults at everyone," she frantically gripped her hair, grip tightening as she dropped into a rant. "It- it doesn't help anyone! If anything it just dragged the team down, and got everyone's spirits down. Hunk does so much more for everyone, and I just ruin it! It's not fair on anyone, and I just wanted to apologise! I'm sorry I constantly do it, and-"

"Pidge,"

The softness in his voice threaded into her thoughts like silk, throwing Pidge completely off her train of thought. She dropped her arm, letting it fall limply at her side as Lance placed both of his hands on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry you might have gotten the wrong message. What I meant was, it's part of you, because your wit and temper are unmatched by anyone, even Keith," he said, trying his best to convince her. "Don't be ashamed of it. It's a part of you, builds who you are. So what if you throw jabs every now and again. If you know our team, you should know it takes a lot to bring their spirits down. If anything your comebacks may just motivate them. I know they motivate me," Lance whispered, capturing Pidge's full attention.

She felt the beginnings of a soft blush warm her cheeks, looking into his eyes, the weight of his hands on her shoulders feeling heavier by the second.

"E-even when I called you ugly and hideous?" Pidge asked mischievously, trying to play off her stutter.

Lance rolled his eyes, straightening up to rest a hand on his hip, and looking out the window. Despite the weight being removed, Pidge couldn't help but miss it. She didn't often allow physical contact, but it was comforting to her.

"Yes, even when you called me a yelmore," he chuckled, pulling out a laugh from the smaller paladin, relief flooding through her.

"Besides, its the most interesting way I've ever been called cute,"

Pidge's laughing soon transitioned into coughing, her blush blooming completely, an unnatural and almost alien feeling washing over her.

"I-I didn't call you cute," she fumed.

"Sure,"

"I didn't!"

"You did say I was yelmore cute,"

"Well, I'm sorry you misinterpreted an insult for a compliment then," Pidge grumbled. "Makes me pity you more, you must be so starved of them,"

Lance said nothing, smirking out through the window, glancing down at her teasingly. She stared up at him with a stony look, a spark of amusement glinting in her eyes as they settled down again, the only sound a light beeping emitted by the hospital equipment.

She shifted after some time, her mind wandering everywhere, as she found it hard to settle it and focus on something, anything but how awkward she felt.

Meeting everyone for the first time, travelling through space, finding green, fighting Zarkon, being kidnapped multiple times, Lance defending her-

Lance defending her. Or trying to. His yell radiated through her mind, the surprise at his impulsiveness drifting into her mind. Pidge blinked, sending him a curious look, the shock seeping into her expression.

Lance felt her gaze, and let his eyes slide to look down at her.

"You okay there Pidgeon?" he asked, a little worried at how stunned she appeared. Pidge's head started to shake lightly, still staring at him intently as she tried to organise her thoughts. Unfortunately, this drove Lance to stoop down and knock lightly on her forehead. "Earth to Pidge? Hello?"

"Why?"

"Huh?" he blinked down harder than before, knuckle still in mid-air, as he stayed leaning in front of her. Lance was expecting another flushed apology, but soon realised that would be unrealistic for Pidge. She was the most level-headed girl he knew, she would never-

"Why would you react like that?"

"Wha-?"

"Back before when we were battling Ezor and Zethrin. Why would you do that?" Pidge asked, staring Lance down. Said boy blinked, his mind trying to catch up to what his fellow paladin was implying.

"Ezor… Pidge you know I'm not good with names…" he stated dumbly, at a loss for what she was saying.

"Red amphibian and elephant Goliath hybrid?" The green paladin prompted, raising her eyebrow expectantly.

"Red… Goliath hybrid…? Oh. Oh! Them!" Realisation finally dawned on Lance, as the memory cleared the confusion from his face. "You could have just said Lotor's generals Pidge,"

She groaned, face palming herself in a flash. "Whatever. You need to answer my question, now you finally realised,"

"Sure,"

"…"

"Wait what was it again?" He asked, standing straight up after a few beats and tucking his hands into his pockets.

"Argh, never mind!" She cried, giving up and whirling to glare outside the window. Lance was impossible, and no matter how much she was itching to find out the answer she had no patience to pry it out of him, especially this late at night.

"H-hey you're the one talking in code!" He replied indignantly, still staring at her in mild shock.

The remark only drew a warbled grumbling from Pidge, who continued in her quest at melting the window. She was very close with her intense glaring. Lance just let his expression drop, pain playing at his face. The blue paladin never knew what or how he managed to constantly trigger the smaller paladin, however he did know he managed at a fairly consistent rate. He turned to face the window once more, staring down at the ground and scuffed his foot on it, mind still trying to decipher what Pidge's question was. Something to do with the generals… when was the last time we?

"Because I care,"

"Come again?" Pidge's head whipped slightly, a light blush dusting her cheeks at how eager it sounded. Truth be told she was hoping he would sill answer, and was listening out for his reply but-

"I care about you. A lot," Lance said evenly, his eyes lifting to meet her gaze softly.

"Eh?"

"You're part of our family, and to be honest one of the closest people I have. I just, didn't want to see you hurt," he continued, starting to ramble in embarrassment, "I-I didn't want to see anyone hurt, but I mean, I di-didn't want to see you hurt, more, I guess," Lance ended, his ears burning, with his cheeks following.

"U-uh. Thanks? That, means a lot to me, I guess," Pidge stuttered, her fingers subconsciously playing with the end of her shirt. "B-but… um, you know you…" she struggled to grasp the reason she brought the topic up. Oh right, I need to scold him, the paladin remembered, trying to gather up her scattered wits.

Lance chuckled at her dumbfounded expression, watching how a lock of her hair curled as she tried to process what he said, slipping in front of her eye. Without another thought, he brushed it away, his fingers lightly grazing her forehead and bumping her glasses.

Pidge choked out slightly, quickly batting his hand away. "What on earth are you doing?!"

"U-uh your hair was going to-"

"Stab my eye out?!" She asked, slightly exasperated. Scratch that, highly exasperated.

"Chill Pidge, I didn't do that much!" He said defensively, leaning back, his hands raised in surrender.

"Still! You don't just do that!" Pidge cried, clutching her hands to stop them from shaking. Why are they shaking?! The thought flashed past, just long enough to be considered before it was sucked away in a whirl of other emotions.

"Come on Pidge! It's not-"

"There are more consequences than you realise! You don't just make impulsive decisions," her hands slipped into her hair, gripping stray locks.

"Pidge you're over reacting! Just calm down," Lance stepped forward, his alarm growing.

"I am not over reacting! I am reacting just the right amount!" Pidge replied, moving backwards, away from his outstretched hands.

"Pidge don't. Stop, you're going to stress yourself over a little physical contact! Nothing else happened, it's fine!" He said, moving towards her.

"Fine?! You could have died Lance!" She yelled back, catching him completely off guard. Pidge took the opportunity to retreat to a corner at the window, slipping down the glass to curl up and hug her knees tightly, taking refuge in between.

"Died? From a…? Oh," he thought, another spout of realisation hitting him for the second time that night. "We're not talking about your hair now, are we?" Lance asked gently, walking towards her softly, taking in her small form. He sat down beside her, waiting for her confirmation. After a pause, he heard a small sound.

"After she said my name, I didn't expect anything. Other than pain. I could deal with it," she drifted off, but Lance stayed silent, waiting for her expectantly, "But… you just… out of nowhere and… it was so stupid Lance, you put everyone at risk! They could- maybe not to everyone but you… you could have been killed and it'd- one shot from they're gun and you'd be gone!" She cried, her voice hoarse from the constant yelling. Lance swallowed lightly, feeling guilt start to seep in at her state.

"And it'd be my fault," Pidge whispered, her voice wavering dangerously close to crying. That's when he broke, his chest tightening in remorse at how broken his own friend sounded. Lance leaned over to grip Pidge tightly, tugging her into his arms, making sure she wouldn't pull away.

"D-don't make stupid decisions on my behalf, Lance. I couldn't… I couldn't live knowing it was my fault you died," she whispered into his neck, letting him hug her.

"Listen to me, Pidge Gunderson," Lance said firmly, tightening his hug as she tried to pull out. "It would never be your fault. Even if I did die, it still wouldn't be your fault,"

"But-"

"Did you pull the trigger?" He asked.

"Well no but-"

"Did you punch me?"

"No…"

"Then is it your fault?" Lance pulled his head out so that he could stare at her expectantly, looking for an answer.

"…Statistically there is some form of indirect fault. Just because I didn't directly hurt you doesn't mean I wasn't an indirect cause of the reason you're your hurt so it is-"

"Por favor Pidge you're killing me now!"he groaned, leaning back into the window, pulling Pidge further into his lap.

"Well it's true! You can't argue with the facts Lance!" She replied indignantly.

"Alright, then can I argue the fact that nothing happened and that we're all fine now?" He asked, taking a sly peek at her unimpressed look.

"That's not the point!"

"So stop blaming yourself,"

"Seriously? You think I can just- you know what no, I won't,"

"Fine. Then I will give you the logic of why blame yourself if I don't?"

"Give me a reason why I should care what you think, then we'll talk,"

"How about why blame yourself for something I chose to do?"

"You didn't think it through, it was an impulsive decision,"

"But I did think about it. I thought about how I didn't want you to get hurt so I better do something,"

"That's not thinking about the action Lance, just the context!" she replied in exasperation, shifting to get out of their embrace as she realised they were still huddled together. "Just face it. There is no solid evidence or explanation for me to stop blaming myself, and maybe I could prevent anyone from getting hurt in future so perhaps you should just let me stew over it," Pidge huffed, tugging at his arms to get up.

Lance just gave her a hurt look, widening his eyes as she tumbled out of his lap and beside him.

"So if you don't mind I think our meeting is over. I must return to my quarters to stew over this and keep thinking of things to prevent this from happening again," Pidge knew she was overdoing the act, but she couldn't control a tiny part of her that wanted Lance to stop her.

"So you're just going to keep blaming yourself," he summarised flatly, grabbing her hand.

"That's the extent of my plan, yes," Pidge replied, glaring down at him.

"So there's nothing that can convince you?" Lance asked in a steady tone, sparking suspicion in Pidge.

"No," she said coldly.

Lance stood up, keeping his firm grasp on her wrist. "Nothing at all? Surely?"

"N-nothing whatsoever," Pidge's voice wavered, dimly trying to tug at her arm. The blue paladin stared at her thoughtfully as she tried to pick her arm free, his gaze unnerving her, warming her cheeks at a rapid rate. "At all,"the smaller paladin said to try and drive the point home.

"Okay,"

Pidge blinked up at him, confused as he let her hand go, slipping his own into his pockets once more. She swallowed some hurt at how quickly he dropped the subject, how easily he gave up, and started to depart, weaving around him and the tight edge of his bed. Pidge ducked her head, tucking her hands into her pockets as the cold started to set in, preparing to nip around the door when she felt the ground leave her feet, and a secure grip around her waist.

"L-lance!" She shrieked, vigorously kicking her feet in a feeble attempt at getting down. Pidge squeezed her arms out to grip his, her stomach dropping at the velocity at which Lance pulled her up.

"On second thought maybe there is something to convince you," he chuckled at her frantic wriggling, feeling mildly guilty at using her height against her.

"This is in no way fair, Lance McClain get me down from here!" She cried, not bothering to hide her fully bloomed blush.

"Not until you promise me that you'll stop blaming yourself!" He cried back.

"Never!" Pidge seethed, trying to kick his stomach but failing as he leant backwards.

"Promise!" Lance persisted, tilting a little further back as the green paladin continued her revolt. Suddenly an idea occurred to her, as she felt Lance teeter.

"Maybe…"

"Maybe?" He asked hopefully, letting his guard drop for a millisecond as Pidge's fighting stopped.

"Maybe…. Not," with that she shoved backwards so that they fell on to his bed. Pidge successfully winded him, however her back was now uncomfortably pressed against his chest. She made to wriggle out, however the movement awakened Lance from his stupor, allowing him to grasp around her stomach.

"Pidge, just calm down!"

"N-never!" She huffed out, clawing at his arms fiercely, trying to get out of his grasp. Lance rolled to his side, attempting to use some of his weight against her. The realisation that he either calm her down or face her inevitable wrath at being grabbed was his only choice, Lance attempted the former.

"Pidge, please. You're going to wear yourself out," he replied in concern. It was true, she was out of breath, but not out of spirit, so she limply continued to kick and rip at his arms fruitlessly.

"Katie…" Lance said gently. He felt Pidge's whole body seize up in shock, her arms freezing in their attempt of escape.

"Fine…"she replied grudgingly, knowing it was pointless struggling against his grasp. Lance had the advantage of height and strength, and she was starting to lose energy.

"Thank you," he puffed, loosening his grip around her as they both breathed out, trying to return to a normal breathing rate. Pidge finally calmed down, still incredibly flustered, and looked up to meet Lance's gaze. He heart immediately sped up once more, feeling her insides twist at how close he was. In one blur she was sitting up on the bed properly, clutching her legs towards her in a cross-legged fashion as she tried to ignore his movement beside her.

"At least you've calmed down," Lance said, sitting up beside her. "Do you feel any better?"

"As a matter of fact I"- Pidge prepared to make a wry comment, however found she couldn't. "Do… actually,"

"You seem miffed. Dare doubt my abilities?" He mocked insult, acting hurt.

"Goofball," she muttered affectionately.

"Sometimes you just need to burn everything out, and let your emotions go," Lance said, dropping into a more serious tone, smiling fondly at the nickname for the first time in a while.

"Thanks…" Pidge murmured, sitting up straighter to give Lance a small smile. He was caught off guard, and felt his heart flutter a warmth spreading throughout his chest and onto his cheeks.

"J-just promise me you'll come over if you ever start worrying again," he replied, shifting his legs on the edge of the bed.

"Well I came tonight," the green paladin pointed out.

"Y-yeah, you did," Lance mused, picking at a random spot in the bedding as if it had a stray thread.

"I really mean it though," Pidge said, his embarrassment giving her some confidence.

"M-mean?"

"Thank you, for helping me. You really do help people feel better,"

"Not really," he muttered, not really processing what she was saying. This earns a small frown to emerge on Pidge's lips, as she debated something. The green paladin gave into it, as she crawled up to Lance to hold his hand, preventing it from picking the blanket to death.

"You did for me," she said solemnly, staring up into his eyes seriously.

Lance felt his heart falter, staring into the golden honey that swirled in her eyes. He never realised how sweet and intoxicating they were, as he had never stared this closely into them. The blue paladin quickly broke the gaze to prevent himself from drowning in them. "That's good," he mumbled dumbly, continuing to stare away. Pidge soon realised she was making him uncomfortable, and soon felt her confidence slip away until it was out of her reach.

Pidge quickly slipped off the bed as the feeling of embarrassment begun to creep into her conscious, looking up once more to see Lance gazing into the distance.

"Well goodnight," she said hurriedly, quickly picking her way through the room before she could embarrass herself anymore and headed towards the door.

"K-Katie wait!" For the second time that night, her name managed to freeze herself in movement. However this time, she also turned around to face the shape moving towards her. And again for the second time that night, she felt her form being lifted up in a tight hug, with Lance burying his face into her neck.

Pidge blinked hard several times, her body going limp and insides in a rolling and tumbling mess. Without any thoughts, she wrapped her arms around his neck to return the hug, knowing she would regret opening up so easily.

"Don't blame yourself," his breath on her neck sent every hair shooting straight up, preventing her from doing anything but nod.

"Fine,"

"Thank you," Lance whispered, still clutching her tightly. He brought his head up to plant a light kiss on her forehead, turning Pidge into a defensive and blushing bundle of confusion. He then proceeded to lean against her forehead, their noses brushing in a faint boop.

It may be the second time her height was used against her, but this time Pidge didn't mind as much, allowing her head to rest against his.

So many questions darted throughout her head, however for the first time, she was going to let them go, along with their answers. All she wanted to do was drop everything and enjoy this moment for as long as she allowed to.

* * *

 **Greetings all Voltron and Plance fans. Hope y'all enjoyed this incredibly long fic. It was born out of pure boredom and a need to water my plance so I hope you liked it.**

 **This is my first Voltron fanfiction, so hi to the fandom! I have never actively contributed so I am happy to finally to do so.**

 **Until I post again,**

 **Water them plance!**


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